I have no idea who this is being marketed to, other than maybe swingers or idiots with too much time on their hands.

Yeah. 11.11.11. Can’t come soon enough.

Well the movie has hit it’s share of roadblocks, but it seems like it might finally be on track with the cast signed on and a script being written. We might get our hearts broken again, but we can’t help but be hopeful. Which brings me to the point of this article – I was thinking today how much fun the various guest stars had been in their respective roles on the show, and how great it’d be if they brought them back. So I assembled a small list of some of the actors/characters that definitely need to show up in the movie.

Gene Parmesan (Martin Mull)
“Gene was from the best” – Narrator
As Mama Bluth’s favorite PI, Gene unravels family mysteries and wears ridiculous outfits. He only showed up in one episode, but his trademark scene pop-ins where he’s disguised as a doctor/custodian/day labourer were the best part of  ”Amigos”. Lucille’s scream of recognition everytime was icing on the cake.

Carl Weathers (Carl Weathers)
“Baby, you got a stew going!”
Weathers plays a cheap, odd, stew-obsessed version of himself (or maybe that’s the real Carl Weathers, who knows) on Arrested Development. I think he’s a necessary part of any movie that gets made because when people think “Carl Weathers”, they don’t think Rocky or Predator or even Action Jackson, they think AD. Plus he’s hilarious.

J. Walter Weatherman (Steve Ryan)
“That’s why you always leave a note.”
The one-armed man who used to scare them as children (and one time as an adult), J. Walter Weatherman was used as a tool by George Bluth to teach his children lessons by scaring the shit out of them. I could just see a lesson going awry in the movie like it does every time he shows up in the show.

Judge Reinhold (Judge Reinhold)
“I’ll allow this, but I’m warning you Mr. Bluth… this better make for a good promo.”
Reinhold only appeared in one episode, as himself, as a judge. Wrap your head around that. But it was his nonsensical mutterings – “Why did I lose all that weight if they’re just going to put me in a pool cover?” –  and aloof reactions to the mock trial going on around him that made that episode. And who could forget the talking magazines, used to great effect by Gob and Franklin in this clip.

Uncle Jack (Martin Short)
“Shoot me!”

Martin Short played the diminutive, paraplegic uncle (but he’s not their real uncle) of the family, a Jack Lalanne type figure who is asked by Michael to bail out the family in exchange for a date with his sister (remember, he’s not their real uncle). This might seem like an odd choice, because if you asked some Arrested Development fans, they’d say that the episode in which he starred is probably the worst. I used to agree, but it’s grown to be one of my favorites, and not just because it’s almost 90% Tobias innuendo. Martin Short does a fantastic job at physical comedy in this episode, and I think there’d be room for ol’ Uncle Jack if the movie ever pans out.

I won’t be bullheaded and claim that the executives are idiots and that they cancelled the show just to spite me and the tiny audience that watched it. Everything in life is a business decision. Either a show performs or it doesn’t, and not every show can be Two And A Half Men (either be grateful or regretful about that, your choice). The network does share some blame; shows get shifted around, not promoted properly or they get stuck in a timeslot where they’re expected to perish. It’s happened to so many shows I’ve loved that it’s hard to even count them up anymore. The recent cancellation of Terriers - we’ll talk about that later – prompted me to write this article.

I’ll end this article by telling you that According to Jim lasted for 8 seasons, and Arrested Development barely made it past 2. Stew on that for a while.

Games – Where to begin? While there isn’t much in the way of new IPs (other than Bulletstorm and LA Noire), established franchises are getting a huge surplus of games in 2011. Total War: Shogun 2, Uncharted 3, Mass Effect 3, Crysis 2, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Gears of War 3, to name but a handful. Next year is indeed going to be very busy.

Books - While I don’t really get “hyped” for books and their release dates that much anymore (I prefer to just go to the bookstore and browse), I’ll say that the third book in Chuck Hogan/Guillermo Del Toro’s Strain trilogy has me considerably excited. After the downer ending (spoilers! sometimes middle chapters of trilogies have downer endings, folks) of the second book, I’m really interested to see where they go with the story. If you haven’t read it, I would recommend checking out the first book The Strain - Hogan and Del Toro have taken this waning vampire trend and steered it towards surprising and genuinely scary waters.

Music – Just like games, so much is happening in music this coming year. Firstly, the expected but mysterious new Radiohead album, which has to be coming out in 2011 (it just has to!). I am really, really, really looking forward to it. In fact, I am going through their entire catalogue while writing this article.
As for confirmed albums, The Decemberists (The King is Dead), The Strokes (TBA), Fleet Foxes (TBA), Dr. Dre (Detox, it’s coming out, I promise!), R.E.M. (Collapse Into Now), and M83 (TBA) round out what I’m looking forward to next year.

Movies - Unlike the rest of my categories, movies is kind of sparse. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been exposed to too much 2011 marketing. The only thing I can think of that’s not standard popcorn fare is The Tree of Life, Terrence Malick’s sprawling opus about the human condition finally comes out next year. Other than that, we’ve got The Deathly Hallows, Pt 2, that third Transformers movie which will be two hours of utter nonsense but I’ll still be endlessly entertained, and a huge bevy of superhero movies I probably won’t see – The Green Lantern, The Green Hornet, Thor (which seriously looks like some atrocious shit), Captain America, et al. Maybe as we progress further through the year some better looking movies will pop up. There are still a few apparently good ones from 2010 I haven’t seen, Black Swan, True Grit and 127 Hours, to name but a few.

It should be a pretty fun year for entertainment at least.

God, I really want to play Mass Effect 2 again. Or watch Raiders of the Lost Ark. I’m confused now.

Donald in his Spiderman pyjamas on Community, 3 x 01

A huge amount of people rallied behind him, but eventually it was for naught when the talented Andrew Garfield (The Social Network) was cast as Peter Parker. Of course, people were angry and people were happy at the decision. You had people one side shouting “RACISM” and on the other side, comic book purists (and maybe actual racists, who knows) were shouting “HELL YEAH”. As for my side, it’s hard for me to say. While I generally prefer an adaptation or remake or whatever stay true to the source material, if they ignore the source material and make a good movie out of it, then why the hell does it matter?

Glover was pretty humble on the Nerdist podcast but at the same time brought up some good points that I feel like I have to echo: for one, Spiderman isn’t Shaft or Black Lightning – a superhero who is defined by his race. He’s just a geeky, awkward kid who’s experienced a lot of loss and has to deal with that loss while still trying to do some good in the world. Glover also wanted to stress that the fact that he didn’t get chosen or even get an audition wasn’t racism on the part of the director or the studio. On the podcast, he quipped that if Sony Pictures could make money off a movie about Hitler starring Will Smith, they’d probably greenlight it in a heartbeat. In the end, everything in Hollywood ends up being a financial decision, so maybe a black Spiderman just wasn’t bankable at this point in time.

How it all started

As it stands, we have another really talented actor cast as Spiderman, and Glover still has his entire career ahead of him. Maybe when they reboot the series in another 10 years (it’s inevitable folks), the world will be ready for a black Spiderman. It’s all about baby steps – hell, people are still bitching about James Bond being a blonde.

"Yeah, we're cool... for now."

Change the engine
This is something that has been confirmed by Bethesda. The Gamebryo engine – which looked amazing in 2006 but has since aged very badly – is out, and Bethesda says that there will be a brand new engine on display for Skyrim. A new engine would fix a lot of things. While the environments in Bethesda games have remained great, the character animations and modelling have seriously lagged behind industry standards. So what is it – a third party engine? Something they made from scratch? A fancy new idTech engine, borrowed from the recently acquired John Carmack? Only Bethesda knows, and they’re keeping their cards pretty close to the vest – I’m sure we’ll see more details in the coming months, with an 11/11/11 release date for the game.

Change the combat
While I found Oblivion to be a very immersive and at times exhilarating experience, the combat in the game definitely wasn’t. It was very much a block -> attack affair, or if you were doing ranged combat, backing up while firing arrows or magic spells. It got boring and brought the game down a bit. I hope they revamp the combat system, make it a little more immersive. One of the best parts about Mass Effect 2 is how improved the combat was over the original, and I’m hoping Bethesda can pull a similar feat with Skyrim.

Hire more voice actors, damn it!
This has been a big complaint with Oblivion and Fallout 3 – every third or fourth NPC sounds exactly the same. It’s an easy fix – just hire more people, and definitely write more random dialog. Having to hear the same conversations between NPCs over and over and over is very grating, and pulls you right out of the game, which kills any immersive quality the game might have had.

A more interesting main quest
Another common complaint with Oblivion was that with such a huge array of interesting characters and sidequests to do separate from the main quest, why would anyone even touch the main quest? When most people did, they found it boring and claimed it lacked the flair and charm of the rest of the game, and I have to agree. The main quest in Fallout 3 was a little more interesting, but not by much. I can’t really toss out any suggestions here, I’d just say that they should make the main quest just as interesting as the sidequests, so that people don’t think it’s just something to slog through.

That’s my two cents about Bethesda and Skyrim, if you feel like I missed something, feel free to drop a comment.

The VGAs, that annual parade of incompetence and disrespect toward the entire video game industry is happening right this moment, and the one thing they’re good for – showing off video game trailers – made me jump out of my pants. That’s because Bethesda finally announced a long awaited sequel to Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion called Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Just seeing the words on the screen made my eyes boggle. I’ve been waiting for a new Elder Scrolls game since Oblivion dropped in 2006.

If you’re curious, Skyrim is

the northernmost province of Tamriel, and is a cold and mountainous region. Although it is one of Tamriel’s less hospitable provinces, it has been home to both elven and human civilization since time immemorial. It is currently inhabited by the human race of Nords.

Thanks to The Unofficial Elder Scroll Wiki for the above information.

Between this and Mass Effect 3, also announced today, I believe I’m set for the next few years for RPGs.